The Three Humorless Musketeers
by Splashes of Madness
Summary: A parody I wrote for the sheer need of one. I have sent our heroes off on a perilous quest from which they may or may not return alive (or sane). If you're somebody who finds randomness funny, this is for you. If not, you REALLY don't need to read this shit. There's a reason why I don't write parodies. *ON HIATUS, yo*
1. Chapter 1 CUZ I WANTED TO

_CUZ I WANTED TO. _

**Splashes of Madness:** Exactly what the chapter title says. I felt like writing a parody. AND I WON'T TAKE CRAP FROM ANYONE. FLAME ME AND I'LL SEND MY RABID MONKEYS AFTER YOU! GRRR! ARRRGGGHHHH! RAAAAWWWRRR!

**Audience: **… *turns to leave*

**Splashes of Madness: **WAIT WAIT WAIT! I'LL BRING FORTH THE REAL REASONS YOU CLICKED ON MAH STORY! *waves magikal pencil wand and POOF and sprinkle-sparkle dust and your three heroes are blinking stupidly in front of your very faces!* (Aaaahhh… don't you just love fantasy?)

**Kurogane:** HOLY CRAP! WHAT THE HELL ARE WE DOING HERE? WHERE'D THE GIRL AND THE RABBIT GO? WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? *points frantically at Splashes of Madness*

**Splashes of Madness: **I'm a fanfiction writer! :D

**Kurogane: **... *begins to froth at the mouth*

**Splashes of Madness:** Oh yeah. I used my magical teleportation powers and swapped reality into fantasy with the skillz of one of the greatest beings of all time!

**Kurogane: **_*deadpans* _You mean fanfiction.

**Splashes of Madness:** Yup~! It's legal!

**Kurogane: **Unfortunately.

**Syaoran: **Is it really a good idea to have the second story you've published on so far be a parody?

**Splashes of Madness: ***immediately all defensive* Why? What's wrong with it?

**Syaoran: **Well… you know… it's a bit abrupt and… *goes quiet upon seeing Splashes of Madness's growling rabid pitbull in the corner* Nevermind.

**Fai:** Oooohh! Yay! I like fanfiction! I gets lots and lots of attention there!

**Kurogane:** And that's something I FRICKEN DON'T GET.

**Fai:** The gurlz love meh~! :3 _*beings laughing hysterically like somebody who just witnessed a moose humping a lama*_

**Splashes of Madness:** They also like to pair you both up together~! :3

_*both men stop talking instantaneously and stand as stiff as statues* _

**Syaoran:** _*worried*_ You 2 okay?

**Kurogane:** *_slowly begins to unsheathe his sword*_ …Kid, I'd back away if I were you. Faaaaaar, faaaaaaaaaarrr away…. _*eye glints demonically*_

**Fai:** W-W-W-What you doing, Kuro-puu…? You _know _that it doesn'thave _anything _to do with _meeeeeee! _*ducks away as Kuro-psycho begins to chase after him, swinging his big, pointy stick of metal and still frothing at the mouth like a rabid mongoose*

**Splashes of Madness:** Hey, wait! YOU CAN'T START FIGHTING HERE, _YOU'LL BREAK THE- _

_*tweeee* _

…

_*twink* _

**Splashes of Madness:** AHA! I fixed it! Well, now we can get started!

**Kurogane:** _*appears to be oblivious of the fact that Fai has disappeared* _Started with what?

**Splashes of Madness:** Well, chat time, of course!

**Syaoran:** Ummm… Madness-san?

**Splashes of Madness:** Wut? =3

**Syaoran**: I apologize if I happen to offend you, but if we start "chatting" as you put it, it will turn into an endless circle of arguing about random topics which nobody really gives a damn about and will just get annoyed after reading two chapters upon which they will backspace and return to scanning for more suitable fanfiction stories for their tastes, which probably includes a sizable amount of Kurogane and Fai making out like crazy, because people in this world are messed up, seriously twisted souls who like to set up people who have no sexual relations to each other whatsoever in some angesty, stupid plotline that would also include Fai almost dying and Kurogane saving him and I, the original main character of the entire manga series to somehow disappear quietly into the background and shamelessly blend with the lowlifes such as Masayoshi who honestly nobody gives a damn about either and…

**Kurogane:** _*turns to Splashes*_ He can go on like this forever. Got anything to eat?

**Splashes of Madness:** Yup! I just got some Fai pies!

**Syaoran:** _*breaks off mid-rant and stares at them*_ OMG! KURROGANE-SAN! SPLASHES-SAN! DID YOU KILL FAI-SAN IN THE INTERMISSION AND BAKE HIM INTO FLUFFY PASTERIES?

**Splashes of Madness:** Of course not! If I did that, all the Fai fans, who take up 80% of the Tsubasa Chronicles fan chart, would flame me and probably find some way to delete my account. And then, quite possibly, find a way to track me down and kill me in my sleep. No; I just locked him in the kitchen and forced him to cook for us. I suppose he can come out, now that Kuro-doo is done ranting and slashing up my furniture with his big scary knife.

**Kurogane:** Shut up, you stupid writer-witch!

**Splashes of Madness:** Hee hee! That sounds cool! I like it!

**Kurogane:** _*anger mark* _

**Syaoran:** …

_*Mokano will now do the hump dance for the audience's limited amusement as the cast eat their fluffy pastries* _

_*Are pies even fluffy pastries or are they cakes…?* _

**Mokana:** MOKANA THINKS THEY'RE REALLY BIG JELLY DOUGHNUTS!

_*SHUT UP YOU STUPID RABBIT THING! *begins to attack Mokona with a flyswatter* _

**Mokana:** MOKANA'S A MOKANA!

_*now back to the show* _

**Splashes of Madness: **_*munching on a pie* _Well, even though it would be nice if we just sat around and aimlessly talked about random topics like rambling old men, I suppose that Syao-chan _(__**Syaoran: **__Oh #$% please tell me she won't start calling me that)_ has a point. It wouldn't get anywhere.

**Fai: **_*was returned back to the story because the audience needed more eye candy* _So what will we do now, Splashes-sama? C:

**Splashes of Madness: **Oooh! I like that title too. From now on, everyone has to call me that!

**Fai: **Splashes-sama! :D

**Kurogane: **Crazy writer-witch. ]:C

**Syaoran: **…um… Returning to the subject at hand, why don't we have a Talkshow?

**Splashes of Madness: **Naw, everyone does that. How about…I'll just send you off to have adventures! Except I'm controlling friggen _everything! _

**Syaoran, Fai, Kurogane: **_' …

**Syaoran: **I'd rather you didn't, please, for the love of God-

**Splashes of Madness: **So it's settled then! *waves magic-pencil wand even though she writes everything on a laptop and the three heroes are transported to a desert oasis*

**Kurogane: **(severe measurements were taken so that you, the readers, would not be able to witness the colorfulness of his language, as his swearing was so bad your eyes would probably melt out of your skull and fireworks would shoot out of your eye sockets and your brain would pop like a balloon) #$3%&# WRITER-WITCH!

**Splashes of Madness: ** *voice coming from the sky* HA HA HA HAAAA! How wonderful are you feeling now, Kuro-puu?

**Kurogane: **Like I wanna tear your #&$% head off your shoulders.

**Splashes of Madness: **:3 I get that a lot.

**Fai: **So why are we here, Splashes-sama?

**Splashes of Madness: **Well, Fai-Fai, you're there because I felt that we needed to start with unexplained circumstances that started off with a bang. So now you're here!

**Syaoran: **Well I'll be, it certainly is unexplained.

**Fai: **So what is the situation?

**Splashes of Madness: ***considers* Well… I suppose that I'm the villain of the series!

**Kurogane: ***sourly* The writer is _always _the villain, directly or not. They're the ones who are writing the tragic crap and throwing innocent, confused characters into billions of stupid scenarios.

**Syaoran: ***mutters* Who said you were innocent?

**Kurogane: **Say something kid?

**Syaoran: **Nothing sir.

**Splashes of Madness: ***answering Kurogane's question* Yeah but, what's the fun if they just stand around talking?

**Kurogane: **Think of the reason all of your characters and borrowed characters hate you.

**Splashes of Madness: **Because I'm evil? *smiles gleefully*

**Kurogane: **Precisely.

**Fai: **So what have you done this time, Splashes-sama? :)

**Splashes of Madness: **Well, apparently you've stumbled across this universe in one of your adventures where everything is controlled by a crazy, delusional, evil, sadistic creator/writer that doesn't really give a crap about the wellbeing of any of her subjects and will do anything she damn well wants and has trapped you all into her world and you can't escape until you defeat me.

**Kurogane: **… *twitches*

**Syaoran: **And what about Sakura-hime! WHAT ABOUT MEH PRECIOUS BABYCAKES AND SUGARBLOSSOM?

_*everyone stares at him as Syaoran begins to sing "All you Need is Love" by the Beatles* _

**Kurogane: **This is humiliating to watch for _everyone. _*looks up at Splashes of Madness, or at least wherever she is in the sky* Oi. What did you do to the kid?

**Splashes of Madness: ***beams* I decided that Syaoran's personality was too boring for a parody (though you and Fai are all right) so I decided to tweak it a little bit.

**Kurogane: ***points at Syaoran who is still singing and flopping up and down in a vain attempt to do the Worm on the sand* You call that _tweaking it a little bit? _

**Splashes of Madness: **He'll revert back to normal every now and then. But every time somebody mentions Sakura in front of him he'll start doing this.

**Syaoran: **I WISH THAT THIS MOMENT WAS OURS TO OWN IT AND THAT IT WOULD NEVER LEAVE THEN I WOULD THANK THAT STAR THAT MADE OUR WISH COME TRUE (COME TRUE) OH YEAAAH CUZ I KNOW THAT WHERE YOU ARE IS WHERE I SHOULD BE TOOOOOO RIIIIIIIIIGHT HERE RIIIIIIIGHT NOW I'M LOOKIN AT YOU AND MY HEART LOVES THE VIEW CUZ YOU MEAN EVERYTHIIIIIIIING!

**Kurogane: **Turn him off before I pop a freakin blood vessel.

**Splashes of Madness: **Once the conversation is over, I might. *considers* You know, I felt that having Sakura and Mokana in the story would just drag everything down because I know that pretty much EVERYBODY leaves them out of the story somehow, so let's say I kidnapped them and is keeping them at my fortress of evil. That's why you can't leave.

**Kurogane: ***huffs* You can keep the stupid white manju bun.

**Splashes of Madness: **Sure. I'd like to see how far you fly to the next dimension by flapping your arms.

**Fai: **So what shall we do now, Splashes-sama? Or rather, should I say… *gestures arms dramatically* Whatever shall we do now, you vile fiend! X3

**Kurogane: **You're having way too much fun than really necessary with this.

**Splashes of Madness: **UWAH-HA-HA-HA-HAAAA! You have no options! You can either die, find a way out of the desert, or to eat other first and then die.

**Syaoran: ***turned back to normal while nobody was looking* That doesn't make sense. You just said we didn't have any options, but then you just gave us three.

**Splashes of Madness: **Shut up and get going. *poofs away*

…

**Kurogane: ***starts advancing on Fai with sword raised* I say we eat the mage first.

**Syaoran: **Nyyyoooooo! *grabs onto Kurogane leg* Let's try to escape first! We'll resort to eating our fingers if we get too hungry, and if worst comes to worst… we'll start considering it.

**Fai: **_WHAT? _So I'm still on the menu? Syaoran, I thought you were on _my_ side!

**Syaoran: ***severely* Fai-san, when you're in these situations you gotta do what you gotta do to survive. Even if it means eating one of your lunatic friends.

**Fai: **D:

**Kurogane: **So what now?

**Syaoran: **Well, I suppose we should start doing what the crazy woman says and start walking.

AND SO…

…

…

…

**Fai: **I'm booooooooooooooooorrrrrrrred.

**Kurogane: **Whoop-dee-doo. We all are.

**Fai: **Let's play a game!

**Syaoran: **Like what?

**Fai: **Hmm…How about the Cloud Game?

**Syaoran: **What's the cloud game?

**Fai: **You stare at clouds until they start making shapes!

**Kurogane: **That sounds stupid.

**Fai: **Everything you hear sounds stupid, Kuro-*beep*

**Syaoran: ***stares up at the sky* Hmmmmmmm…. I see one that looks like a sun!

**Fai: **GASP! SO DO I!

**Kurogane: **That _is_ the sun, you nimrods.

**Syaoran: **But are we both looking at the same cloud?

**Fai: **I don't know. But I claimed it first!

**Syaoran: **Like hell you did! I said it first!

**Fai: **I know; I _saw _it first but I didn't say it! It still counts!

**Syaoran: **NUH-AW!

**Fai: **YEA-HUH!

**Kurogane: **…

**Syaoran: **WHOEVER CAN STARE AT IT LONGEST GETS TA KEEP IT!

**Kurogane: **That's not a good idea.

**Fai: **FINE BY ME!

**Kurogane: **Oye.

**Syaoran: **READAH-SET-GYYYYOOOOOOOO!

**Fai: **YEAH YEAH YEAH I'M GONNA KICK YO ASS!

**Kurogane: **Are you guys even listening to me?

**Syaoran: **YOU'RE GOIN DOOOWWWN FAIRY PRINCESS!

**Fai: **NOT BEFORE YOU CRASH AND BURN, GOGGLE-BOY!

***two hours later* **

**Syaoran: **AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

**Fai: **GGGRRAAAAAAHHHHHHH!

**Kurogane: **….

***five hours later* **

**Syaoran: **!

**Fai: **!

**Kurogane: **… *eats a sandwich*

***nine hours later* **

*The two's eyes are beginning to sizzle. Kurogane eats another sandwich.*

***eighteen hours later* **

*the two's eyes have turned brown and now looked like overburnt hamburger meat. Kurogane polishes his sword*

***thirty hours later* **

*the two are still at it. Kurogane takes a nap.*

***thirty hours and one minute later* **

*fangirl takes a picture of Kurogane sleeping*

***thirty hours and one minute and thirty seconds later***

*Kurogane chases after fangirl*

***thirty hours and twenty minutes later* **

*Kurogane eats Fangirl sandwich*

***forty-eight hours later* **

*Kurogane is about to lose his mind-

**Fai: **_**! I'M #$%#^&*# BLIND! **_

*runs around screaming and bleeding tears of blood from his eye sockets while swearing in 167 different languages*

**Syaoran: **HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA IN YO FACE, PRETTY-BOY! THAT'S WHAT U GET FOR CHALLENING A GUY WHO WAS FREAKIN LIVED IN THE DESERT FOR… *pauses* … *turns to Kuro-wanwan* …Hey, how old am I again?

**Kurogane: **Hell should I know.

**Suspiciously familiar voice—ah, screw it you all know who it is—descending from above:** Can we get a move on here? I've been like, watching you guys for about two days now and have already resorted to biting pretty much every one of my fingernails off except my right pinky. If you take any longer, I swear to God-

**Kurogane: **WE GET IT WE GET IT. *sigh* Now that…_that _problem is settled can we continue?

**Syoaran: ***ignores Fai, who is banging his head on a rock while still screaming* Sure.

**Fai:** IHM BAH-_LIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEENNNNDDDD! _DX 

**Yay! First chapter: **_**DONE! **_**So what do you think? REVIEW! And maybe I'll fix the damage done to Fai's eyeballs. X) **


	2. Chapter 2 The Treacherous Trekking

**Narrator:** The sun is high in the sky and our three heroes are still hobbling away in the hot, hot sand, feeling…well…hot. And sweaty. Very sweaty.

**Fangirls:** *start squealing excitedly about two certain shirtless characters*

**Narrator: **_**SHUT UP!**_THIS ISN'T A TWILIGHT MOVIE! YOU CAN'T SEE _ANYTHING! _THIS IS A DAMN FANFICTION!

**Fangirls: ***fall silent and wait to see what else the Narrator will say, but they bored very quickly, so they skim down the page to read about where Kurogane and Fai start stripping and then proceed to make out*

**Narrator: **Hmph. Psychos.

Anyway, now that Splashes of Madness has sent our three heroes out into the desert, what shall become of them now? What insanity will occur?

*BACK TO OUR HEROES*

…

**Kurogane: **oh GOD WHEN IS HE GOING TO STOP SCREAMING? :C

**Fai: ***crawling in the sand and frothing* 

**Syaoran: **A better question would be where he gets all that energy from. It looks like he could keep going for another couple hours.

**Kurogane: **Ffffffffffffffff…

**Fai: ***suddenly stands up and grabs Syaoran's shirt collar* I CAN'T _SEE! _

**Syaoran: ***wipes the spit off his face and finally loses it* JEESH! DAMMIT FAI! YOU ALMOST FREAKIN BLEW MY EARDRUM! WOULD YOU CHILL! I'VE BEEN BLIND IN ONE EYE EVER SINCE I WAS _BORN! _SO SHUT UP AND CALM DOWN FOR ALL OF OUR SAKES OR SO HELP ME KUROGANE AND I WILL BURY YOU A MILE DEEP IN SAND AND _LEAVE YOU! _*picks up his sword (still sheathed, of course) and clobbers Fai in the head with it*

**Fai: ***falls flat on his face* Ouchie! Syoaran is scary! *looks up and blinks* Hey! I can _see! _HALLELUJAH! I'M NOT BLIND ANYMORE! YIPEE! LET'S CELEBRATE WITH CORN DOGS AND LUCKY CHARMS!

**Syaoran: **Well, he's not freaking out anymore, but his sanity is still a problem. Lord help us before we all go insane and shoot ourselves, because it's bound to happen the longer we're with him.

**Kurogane: **Hey, wait a minute. You said you were blind in one eye. So are we dealing with the clone here?

**Syaoran: **Hmm… I think so.

**Kurogane: **You _think _so?

**Syaoran: **I'm not entirely sure, to be honest. Splashes of Madness said that she stays up nights driving herself crazy about it. I made a clone, which went on adventures with my girlfriend, went insane and ran off, killed loads of people, got practically killed by me, got reborn, married Sakura who gave birth to me. So now my clone, the one _I CREATED _is my freaking dad. It's like the chicken and the egg philosophy. Who the hell came first? Not only that, but I rewound time. And have another soul in some other dimension who is the subject for lots of yaoi fanfics with somebody who has pretty much no personality. My life is confusing.

**Kurogane: **No shit.

**Syaoran: **I think I need therapy.

**Kurogane: **Forget the therapy; you need a theorist, you freaking walking paradox.

**Syaoran: **Yeah… if only Sakura- *freezes*

**Kurogane: **…

**Syaoran: ***quiet*

**Kurogane: **…Uh…What-

**Syaoran: **JUST FOR THIS MOMENT AS LONG AS YOUR MINE I'VE LOST ALL RESISTANCE AND CROSSED SOME BORDERLINE AND IF IT TURNS OUT ITS OVER TOO FAST I'LL MAKE EVERY LAST MOMENT LAST AS LONG AS YOUR MINE!

**Kurogane: **Shit, the crazy writer-witch wasn't kidding. From now on, no one mention Sakura. *listens to Syaoran some more and grimaces* And why is he singing the girl's part?

**Fai: **Fai thinks that Syaoran-kun is funny in the head! :3

**Kurogane: **And you aren't?

**Fai: **STOP HURTING MY FEELINGS, KURO-BUNNY!

**Kurogane: ***begins to spazz*

SEVERAL HOURS LATER

**Fai: **So…thirsty…

**Kurogane: **We all are, you stupid mage.

**Fai: **…I have an idea!

**Kurogane: **What ideas can you have? _WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A FRIGGIN DESERT. ALL WE CAN DO IS WALK YOU IDIOT. _

**Fai: **I was going to say that maybe, if we appease the readers enough, they'll convince Splashes-sama to give us water!

**Syaoran: **That…That could actually work, Fai. I'm impressed. You're actually talking in full, intellectual sentences that we can seriously use.

**Kurogane: **Hmph. But how are we supposed to please them?

**Fai: **Well _duh. _The narrator said it in the beginning! Me and Kuro-baby start stripping while Syaoran-kun here takes lots of pictures and then we start rubbing ourselves against ea-

**Syaoran: ***blood starts coming out of his nose and he runs away screaming*

**Kurogane: **_**NO. **__AND NOW, UNLESS YOU CAN USE YOUR MAGIC FAIRY DUST TO SPROUT WINGS OR MAKE WATER, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ONE MORE PEEP FROM YOU. _

**Fai: **…

**Syaoran: ***still fleeing over the horizon*

**Kurogane: **… *turns away*

**Fai: ***giggles* Peep.

**Kurogane: **_FFFFFFFALSDKFHAISOHDFOASDCHL; _*begins to strangle Fai*

**Syaoran: ***magically reappears* _NO! _Kurogane-san! You need to calm down! I know just as well as you do how annoying he is, but we need him in order to escape the fanfiction! Madness-san would never forgive us!

**Kurogane: ***grudgingly lets go of Fai* This is so stupid. *kicks some sand*

**Syaoran: ***solemnly* Yes, I know, but we need to keep going. Madness-san probably will supply us with water somewhere along the way. She can't thirst us to death, can she?

*****silence*

**Syaoran: **…Can she? 

**Kurogane: **We are going to die.

**Fai: **Die~!

*And yet more hours later*

**Kurogane: **I'm starting to miss the point of why the writer witch sent us all out here.

**Syaoran: **I don't think this is even funny anymore.

**Fai: ***giggling manically*

**Kurogane: ***points behind them* What's up with him?

**Syaoran: **Well… I don't know much, but since I'm obviously the smartest of the group, I'll try and come up with a theory.

*Syaoran stares at Fai really creepily for a few minutes. Kurogane shifts uncomfortably, feeling seriously awkward. Finally, Syaoran turns to Kurogane with a knowing look on his face*

**Syaoran: **Well, this may not be entirely accurate, but I think that since Fai is _clearly _the most deranged of all of us, the high temperature from the desert along with the dehydration is causing an effect which…

**Kurogane: **…

**Syaoran: ***finally resigns himself to the fact that his entire group is insane and speaks very slowly* Heat make Fai go cuckoo.

**Kurogane: **Ohhhhhh.

**Syaoran: ***sighs and begins to walk again* Why is it that everyone I associate myself with is always retarded in some form?

**Kurogane: **Then what do you call the way you were acting last chapter?

**Syaoran: **What are you talking about? I have been acting completely rational this entire time.

**Kurogane: **You had a freaking sun staring contest with Fai for fifty hours.

**Syaoran: **Don't exaggerate. It was forty-eight hours, twelve minutes and twenty-nine seconds. Jeeze, retard. And I was only acting like that because Madness-sama changed my personality. Again.

**Kurogane: **So that's why you're acting like Mr. Snooty Pants right now?

**Syaoran: **Precisely. It seems to me that Madness-sama is not entirely sure on how to display my character while still making it simple to poke fun at me. If my estimations are correct, then I shall soon change once again into a personality that in all probability will resemble our incoherent friend Fai here.

**Kurogane: **So you're gonna go cuckoo too?

**Syaoran: **It is highly probable. I calculate that I shall probably change at least once every two chapters.

**Kurogane: **…#$%. Will you be mad if you go back to normal sometime and find yourself neck-deep in quicksand with the magic lunatic?

**Syaoran: **I will try not to take any offense. But in return, please do not feel insulted if I try to run you through with my sword.

**Kurogane: **Whatever.

**Syaoran: **And pound out your insides.

**Kurogane: **Fine.

**Syaoran: **And dance jigs upon your organs.

**Kurogane: **Okay…

**Syaoran: **And drink your blood in a ceremonial cup.

**Kurogane: **…

**Syaoran: **And offer your remains up to the sun God-

**Kurogane: **I think the readers understand, you traitorous brat.

**Syaoran: **I'M NOT DONE YET, YOU MOTHER#$%&$# ASSHOLE!

**Kurogane: **…

**Syaoran: **FIHSZAJSIDYR;FUAIOWEHOHASDOFHAI;JSDKFCA

…

**Kurogane: **What was that.

**Syaoran: ***humbly* Sorry. Spaz moment.

**Kurogane: **Are you done.

**Syaoran: **Yeah.

…

**Syaoran: **I'm starting to feel twitchy though-

**Kurogane: **ALL RIGHT lets keep moving. If we don't get to our destination fast enough, we're all going to either end up killing ourselves or eating each other.

**Syaoran: **Or maybe pedobear will come and eat our brains out.

**Kurogane: **RIIIIIIGGGHHHT, going to ignore that. Do you two idiots still know how to walk, or am I gonna have to drag you? Because, honestly, I'm not about to do that.

**Syaoran: ***eye twitches*

**Fai: **AHM A FREAKIN MAGJIC SORCAHRAHR!

**Kurogane: **You know what, screw this. *walks away*

**Fai: **NO WAIIIITTT! COME BACK MY BELOVED! THE FANS HAVEN'T GOT TO SEE US STRIP AND PUT SMOOCHES ALL OVER EACH OTHER'S FACEEEESSSS!

**Syaoran: ***still twitchy* What about me?

**Fai: **Go jump in a nuclear lake, Syao-kun nobody likes you.

**Syaoran: ***goes to cry in his emo corner*

**Fai: ***jumps at him* HEY! THAT'S MY EMO CORNER! I'M THE GUY WITH THE PAINFUL AND DARK TWISTED PAST! GO MAKE OUT WITH YOUR PRETTY LITTLE SAKURA OR SOMETHING! *starts to wrestle with Syaoran until he realizes that Kuro-puu is still leaving* GASP! I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS! THERE'S STILL A CHANCE TO SHOW OUR APRECIATION TO THE FANS! KURO-RHINOCEROS! I'M COMING! *drops Syao-chan while he's still singing showtunes and runs after Kurogane screaming other sexual and perverted things, but since I'm the writer, I can decide about whether or not I want you to hear them, and so for the benefit of everybody I won't. Trust me, you don't want to hear. You really don't.*

**Syaoran: **AS LOOOONNGG AS YOUR MIIIIIIIINNNNNNNEEE! 

**Chapter 2, DONE! X) What do you think? What do you think? Huh huh huh huh *gets shot in the head by a pissed off Kurogane* **

**Kurogane: *turns to audience, ignoring the blood splattered on his face* Review or I keel u 2. **


End file.
